It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
only if we run a train.
done.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
