I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
