I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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