tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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