I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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