Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
