none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
