What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
