I think I am morally bankrupt
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
