i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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