yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
