Are we in a gay sports bar?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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