the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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