College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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