Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
