I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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