A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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