Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
