so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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