I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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