why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
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