Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
