This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I fill condoms, not promises.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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