how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Be still, my beating vagina.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
