Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize