The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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