I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
