i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
