All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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