My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
