Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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