btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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