her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
a search helicopter?!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
