so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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