The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
