I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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