dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
this hospital has no fireball
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
