I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
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