Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
