hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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