11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
