I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
