Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Can you bring me the toilet please
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
