I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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