Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You can't motorboat a personality
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just pee around me
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
