If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
