I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
