But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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