I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
