well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
