I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
